Boxes of Song Boxes

On another late night drive home, I put my music collection on shuffle. This is rare for me - I’m much more of a ‘one album at a time’ kind of person. However, one of the songs that played had quite a profound impact on me, but not for the reasons you might think. The song is called ‘Try’ by Nelly Furtado:

This happens to be one of my favourite songs ever, although not necessarily for the words or melody - though both are pretty good. Rather, what I realised was the amount of extra information connected to me that was stored deep in the recesses of that song. When that song plays, I find myself traveling back in time to a past reality. It’s almost like the song itself is simply an elaborate packaging for more information. For instance:

‘Try’ takes me back to 2004. Initially April 2004, to be exact. I remember the girl I was in a relationship with at the time sending it to me on the eve of a ski trip to Sunday River in the United States. I remember missing her way more than was appropriate at that age to - but I didn’t know any better at the time. I remember listening to the song on the American-styled school bus in Boston, on a Nokia N-Gage mobile phone with headphones that weren’t really worthy of their purpose. I can still picture the retail park we visited, as well as the cafe we mobbed as I watched my credit deplete faster than I could stand; delighted with the realisation that I actually had signal, and with it a means to communicate with life at home. I remember the mistakes I made that week, the lessons I learnt (briefly) following that week and the summer that soon proceeded it. It was during that year, and that song, that my obsession with tuna and sweetcorn became apparent. It was also the year and song that defined the trajectory that I’m currently on. The latter stages of that year were home to some of the largest struggles I’ve faced in my lifetime...and ‘Try’ by Nelly Furtado played repeatedly throughout. I would have been in an altogether different place without them. Lastly, it reminds me of friendships that were broken and never restored. Listening to this song reminds me of how such immense closeness can turn immensely sour. I remember how much I wish certain friendships had turned out differently.

Now, I would be shocked if you felt the same about this song when you heard it. But I wouldn’t be so shocked if you had similar memories attached to different songs. Today I’d like to put it to you that the power of music is not in its technicality or how beautiful a song sounds. That’s just music. Instead, I’d like to suggest that the power of music is in its storage capacity. We each carry 'song boxes', filled in varying amounts with memories, pictures, locations and people. In fact, our iPods and MP3 players are simply boxes of song boxes. Perhaps this is just me...and I’m really very happy for it to be just me...but I honestly do believe that the power of a song lies in its storage rather than its sound.

For example, some of my favourite songs are directly linked to some of my strongest memories:

“Say” - John Mayer

“Solution” - Hillsong United

“So Much Love” - The Rocket Summer

“The Little Things” - Colbie Caillat

“Zebra” - John Butler Trio

“Mighty To Save” - Hillsong

You may have heard of some of those songs. They may mean nothing to you. Maybe they do mean something to you. Either way, they aren’t just song titles to me; they are song boxes with a whole host of memories locked inside.

This is why I love music. This is why I couldn't imagine spending my life doing anything else. I'd rather dedicate it to reorganising, repacking and writing my own song boxes, because let's face it - I've got a while before I run out of memories to store!

Like Glass Buckets - Part 2

I am a glass bucket filled with sand.

Perhaps you haven’t read my previous blog entry. If not, I am fully aware that the above statement is a little out of the ordinary. Feel free to scroll down to the previous post first in order to shed some light on where we’re at.

So often we can hide who we really are, where we’re really at, or what’s really going through our head. What’s on the inside (our ‘sand’ in this analogy) becomes hidden beneath an artificial shell that portrays something that we determine more acceptable for others to see.

When we are our most real, our external selves are like glass buckets that reveal to others exactly who we are on the inside. These glass buckets display the sand and in turn, the sand reflects our true selves. However, there is a problem with glass.

It is not very strong.

When we present our real selves to the world around us, it is easy to become more fragile. Our harder shells could deflect and absorb personal attacks because, after all, it was only a representation of what we wanted to be rather than a direct reflection of who we were. However, when we become like glass buckets, criticisms can smash, crack and break us. We have to lower our defenses and hope for the best. When it’s put like that, it’s pretty hard to be real isn’t it? In Jesus’ day, a law-obsessed group of people called the Pharisees were so intent in looking like they had it together that they created shells that didn’t really reflect who they were on the inside. In Matthew 23:25-28, we read Jesus’ opinions on this:

25 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. 26 Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

27 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. 28 In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.

I am certainly guilty of being like a 'whitewashed tomb' sometimes. There are times where I'm so embarrassed of who I am and so petrified of the impact a few harsh words could have on me that I end up trying to be something I'm not. I'm realising more and more that the challenge of following Jesus isn't appearing to be doing the right things at the right times. That's easy. The challenge is doing the right things for the right reasons at ALL times and reflecting an authentic character from the inside out. God's sanctifying work in us is life-long, and He loves us regardless of our weaknesses. There is no need to find artificial strength in catering for the opinions of others. Similarly, there is no need to find strength in being artificial to find acceptance in the opinions of others. Our strength comes from God, and God alone, as the psalmists highlight quite nicely:

Psalm 28:6-8 (New International Version, ©2011)

6 Praise be to the LORD,

for he has heard my cry for mercy.

7 The LORD is my strength and my shield;

my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.

My heart leaps for joy,

and with my song I praise him.

8 The LORD is the strength of his people,

a fortress of salvation for his anointed one.

Psalm 118:13-15 (New International Version, ©2011)

13 I was pushed back and about to fall,

but the LORD helped me.

14 The LORD is my strength and my defense^[a^];

he has become my salvation.

Becoming like glass buckets filled with sand is dangerous. Presenting ourselves as we truly are will not always be pretty, and we will almost certainly get hurt when we rely on ourselves. With our own strength, we are fragile and weak, and can barely carry our own load. But God is our strength. He will carry us through the hard times, and the rewards for working on our character will be phenomenal!

Like Glass Buckets - Part 1

Whether you believe you have evolved from primates, been created by an all powerful God or whether you really don't know (or care) either way, there is no disputing that each of us have individual personalities, individual influences and individual capacities for good and evil. At our most real, we are like buckets made from glass, slowly filling with sand as each year of our lives passes us by. Our overall inner-disposition and character dictates the colour of the sand - for some of us, it may be one colour; for others, it may be a multitude of colours. The sand itself represents both our more likeable traits, and those that are altogether less...magnetic. For example, a few years ago, the sand in my bucket would have been almost purely green. My jealousy of the people around me was so pure that it clouded many of my decisions. Nowadays, there is still a hint of green, but a whole host of other colours have seeped through. When we are truly ourselves, our transparent bucket containers show everyone exactly what is inside. The good, the bad, the cliched ugly. I'd be a liar if I told you that I've never painted the outside of my bucket to portray something infinitely more pleasing than what was lurking on the inside. It can be so easy to do...especially when things aren't going the way you'd planned or when we don't have confidence in who we really are. Why would we want people to see our anger, our jealousy, our lack of self worth or our hatred anyway?

As far as my own beliefs go, I'd have to tick the 'been created by an all powerful God' box. And when that God created the first man and woman, I believe their buckets would have been spotless and shimmering with unobtainably (by human means) pure, white sand. The Bible says that they felt no shame; that means no shame about the way they looked, and no shame about the way they acted. There was nothing to be ashamed of. They were made in God's image! Until, that is, the serpent came to tempt Eve:

(Genesis 3:1-6)

1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

4 “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

6 When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

Here we see Adam and Eve fall from the purity that they were created with. The sand in their glass buckets was suddenly awash with dark colours; that awareness is something that has stuck with us ever since. We called it 'Original Sin'.

Over the many years since that moment, we have tried (and failed) to return our sand to it's purest white, settling merely for those warmer colours that pass as 'acceptable'. The Bible says that the only way to become our most pure is through God's only Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus came to the world as both fully man and fully God and died on a cross for us, so that we could be put right with God and receive eternal life. Through His crucifixion, he paid the price required for our sin - so that every grain of sand that isn't as white as it could possibly be, would be returned to its intended colour, and we would spend eternity in Heaven.

What do we need to do in return? The Bible says we need to believe in Jesus Christ. Then we need to scrub off the paint on the outside of our buckets, acknowledge the darkened, dirty mess that's on the inside and turn from it. At that point, God can begin the life-long cleaning process within you.

Hey people!

I'm just going to tell you that you let me down!! Thank you for all the private messages filling in the gaps of the last post, but you didn't write it on the blog! Ah well, audience participation for you...will try and write something meaningful soon. Just not today.

A Post-2010 Post

I've spent a long time trying to write a blog about 2010. Frankly, I'm sick of getting a paragraph in and deleting everything, so I'm going to try an experiment. I'm going to make a list of my highlights, and if you're reading this and were involved in a particular memory, I'd love it if you could comment, and tell me what you remember from it:

1. FP Training - Centreparcs

2. 21st Birthday

3. Sam and Dave's French Adventure

4. Avenue Q with Ellie

5. Poland with Ben D

6. FP Training - Oakwood

7. Ethos Does Albania 2

8. Willow Creek & Chicago, August

9. Chicago, November

10. France, August

11. Ethos @ LIFE'S 1st Birthday

12. Ethos @ Radioactive Radio

13. Ethos @ Reading Church Fun Day

14. The Cottees, Joneses, Findlays - their hospitality made my year

15. England Vs. Australia - RUGBY WIN!!

16. Church Picnic

17. First Revolution rehearsal of new academic year - learning 'the light' & hearing Emily K's song

18. HEAD SHAVE

19. Valentine's Day

20. Hillsong United live (twice!)

21. John Mayer live

Ok, I'm sure I've forgotten a whole load of unbelievable things that happened this year - if I did, let me know! Anyway, please comment away :)

Finally, I would portray 2010 incorrectly if I didn't mention the tremendous sadness that literally hundreds of people felt in July. There aren't really any words right now that could summarise one of the most upsetting periods I've ever experienced, both from personal sadness and from witnessing the immense sadness of many close friends. Instead, I've linked to my blog post, as well as many others that say things a million times better than I did, about the death of Annie Clague at the time. Annie won't be forgotten.

http://dave-betts.blogspot.com/2010/07/last-night-we-lost-treasured-member-of.html

http://ellieundone.blogspot.com/2010/07/grief.html

http://sophiebharris.blogspot.com/2010/07/angharad.html

http://outofafricalaura.blogspot.com/2010/07/annie.html

http://www.simonbenham.com/2010/07/angharad-clague.html

Thank you all for a fantastic year,

Dave

Kinda Like Britney Spears...Only With Purpose

I wouldn't class myself as image-obsessed. I like to think that I really don't care about the way I look; whether that's hair styles, clothes or anything else. For the past year or two, I've found myself living with the following phrase:

Achievements over Appearance

The thing is, in today's distinctly fashion-focussed culture, it has been difficult for me to shake the impression that people are more interested in the way they appear to do things rather than the things they are actually doing. Take, for example, the celebrities who are famous for being, rather than doing - Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, anyone that has EVER appeared on Big Brother and a whole host of other names that populate the far too familiar list of famous-for-nothing stars. As I witnessed their success from the murky shadows of the so-called-star light cast out from television sets and computer screens, I repeatedly promised myself to honour achievements over appearance.

With that said, I'm coming to the rapid conclusion that I really haven't done that well. Pride is the barricade blocking me from being who God is calling me; calling us to be - and dealing with that hasn't quite been as simple as I thought. Take these examples...I wonder if you've experienced these too:

Consequence: Tired, Lazy and inefficient.

Reason: Skipping breakfast to ensure hair was blow-dried..."I don't care what my hair looks like (providing it's not TOO curly)"

Consequence: Late, flustered.

Reason: Couldn't find the Tshirt I wanted..."Can't go to work in this top! It's brown!"

Consequence: Stressed, irritated

Reason: Potential of not playing lead electric guitar...(Honestly, this is what I thought)"really, but then people won't compliment me about my playing"

Cringe. Like I said at the beginning, I like to think that I really don't care about the way I look. I really do. Maybe not as much as others, but definitely more than I should.

Over the last few weeks, God has been really focussing on sorting my pride. Something in me changed recently, which can only be a positive thing. The pivotal moment for me was when I was looking at myself in the mirror whilst brushing my teeth. I hate my hair. For a moment, I considered cutting it all off...but thought better of it - I'd look stupid. Maybe if someone paid me...

BOOM.

Wait.

I felt ashamed.

I was considering taking money from people to change my appearance - yet at the same time, I was willing to let people suffer in countries far away from here simply because they can't afford to fulfil their basic needs. I wanted to profit from changing the way I look simply because I could. Why am I more concerned about my appearance than people who are in need?

That was just over a week ago. I've since raised just over £1000 for Kerith Community Church's 'Project 125' - an attempt to raise £125,000 in order to provide safety for vulnerable students in the Serenje district in Zambia. How? By shaving my head.

I know, I know. It's kinda like Britney Spears...only with purpose. This is a big deal for me - I've never had a shaved head...ever! I've received over 40 sponsors, and I'm truly grateful for their donations - but I can't help but feel uncomfortable that it was much easier for me to raise £1000 to alter my appearance than it was to ask outright for money for Project 125.

Why is that?

Today's entry is a pledge that I won't let my pride get in the way of trying to help people. I care more about achieving a worthy objective than appearing my best. I'm not saying that you shouldn't care about how you look. However, I AM saying that if looking stupid for 3 months while my hair grows back can pay a little bit towards changing people's lives, BRING IT ON!

Here is a confession...

I'm not who I want to be.

I'm working on it.

...slowly.

Unfortunately, I think I'm exactly where God wants me to be...

...Learning that when I hope to go it alone, I'm hopeless.

However...

When my hope is found in my Creator,

I know I'll get there.

I just wish the journey was a less painful one.