Kinda Like Britney Spears...Only With Purpose

I wouldn't class myself as image-obsessed. I like to think that I really don't care about the way I look; whether that's hair styles, clothes or anything else. For the past year or two, I've found myself living with the following phrase:

Achievements over Appearance

The thing is, in today's distinctly fashion-focussed culture, it has been difficult for me to shake the impression that people are more interested in the way they appear to do things rather than the things they are actually doing. Take, for example, the celebrities who are famous for being, rather than doing - Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, anyone that has EVER appeared on Big Brother and a whole host of other names that populate the far too familiar list of famous-for-nothing stars. As I witnessed their success from the murky shadows of the so-called-star light cast out from television sets and computer screens, I repeatedly promised myself to honour achievements over appearance.

With that said, I'm coming to the rapid conclusion that I really haven't done that well. Pride is the barricade blocking me from being who God is calling me; calling us to be - and dealing with that hasn't quite been as simple as I thought. Take these examples...I wonder if you've experienced these too:

Consequence: Tired, Lazy and inefficient.

Reason: Skipping breakfast to ensure hair was blow-dried..."I don't care what my hair looks like (providing it's not TOO curly)"

Consequence: Late, flustered.

Reason: Couldn't find the Tshirt I wanted..."Can't go to work in this top! It's brown!"

Consequence: Stressed, irritated

Reason: Potential of not playing lead electric guitar...(Honestly, this is what I thought)"really, but then people won't compliment me about my playing"

Cringe. Like I said at the beginning, I like to think that I really don't care about the way I look. I really do. Maybe not as much as others, but definitely more than I should.

Over the last few weeks, God has been really focussing on sorting my pride. Something in me changed recently, which can only be a positive thing. The pivotal moment for me was when I was looking at myself in the mirror whilst brushing my teeth. I hate my hair. For a moment, I considered cutting it all off...but thought better of it - I'd look stupid. Maybe if someone paid me...

BOOM.

Wait.

I felt ashamed.

I was considering taking money from people to change my appearance - yet at the same time, I was willing to let people suffer in countries far away from here simply because they can't afford to fulfil their basic needs. I wanted to profit from changing the way I look simply because I could. Why am I more concerned about my appearance than people who are in need?

That was just over a week ago. I've since raised just over £1000 for Kerith Community Church's 'Project 125' - an attempt to raise £125,000 in order to provide safety for vulnerable students in the Serenje district in Zambia. How? By shaving my head.

I know, I know. It's kinda like Britney Spears...only with purpose. This is a big deal for me - I've never had a shaved head...ever! I've received over 40 sponsors, and I'm truly grateful for their donations - but I can't help but feel uncomfortable that it was much easier for me to raise £1000 to alter my appearance than it was to ask outright for money for Project 125.

Why is that?

Today's entry is a pledge that I won't let my pride get in the way of trying to help people. I care more about achieving a worthy objective than appearing my best. I'm not saying that you shouldn't care about how you look. However, I AM saying that if looking stupid for 3 months while my hair grows back can pay a little bit towards changing people's lives, BRING IT ON!

Here is a confession...

I'm not who I want to be.

I'm working on it.

...slowly.

Unfortunately, I think I'm exactly where God wants me to be...

...Learning that when I hope to go it alone, I'm hopeless.

However...

When my hope is found in my Creator,

I know I'll get there.

I just wish the journey was a less painful one.

Heart Stirred Up

I refuse to be part of a generation whose week is a mundane pre-cursor to a weekend of wasteful, self-centred indulgence. Instead, the generation that I'm a part of is a generation whose selfish desires are eclipsed by selfless faith.

I refuse to be part of a generation where hope and assurance is found in fame, fortune and artificial appearances. Instead, my hope is found in Jesus Christ, the Saviour who died for love - whose life, whose love, and whose light will shine from me and destroy the darkness that surrounds my world.

I refuse to be part of a generation who stand idly by when there are thousands dying every day who needn't be; millions suffering every day who shouldn't be. I am part of a generation who will honour the name of Jesus with love and justice - not just when all eyes are on me, but when my actions are hidden from all prospect of recognition on this earth.

¹⁰ and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry

and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,

then your light will rise in the darkness,

and your night will become like the noonday.

Isaiah 58:10

¹⁴"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.¹⁶In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Matthew 5:14-16

It seems like 'the light' is everywhere, but it's still warming up. I'm looking forward to a day where that light; our light shines so brightly from us that we can't help but rescue the oppressed, the downtrodden, the broken, the tired. I'm ready for a life dedicated to something that outlasts it.

Our call is to love God AND love people. It isn't an either / or option. How can we really worship God with all of our heart mind and strength if in the very same moment we're neglecting the very people he gave his only Son for?!

"We will be your hands, we will be your feet, we will run this race for the least of these. In the darkest place, we will be your light."

Joel Houston - "Solution"

"Be the change you want to see in the world"

Ghandi

Patience

I think I've always known this, but the last few weeks have highlighted it for me. I'm incredibly impatient.

I know, I know, some of you won't be at all surprised to hear me say that - in fact, the only thing that will surprise you is how long that it's taken to come to this realisation in the first place. It feels an awful lot like the world inside my head moves a thousand times faster than the world outside of it. It's rubbish. I tend to come to decisions in the 'inside' world looonngg before the 'outside' world does.

The reality is that everything moves at the same speed. I'm certainly not exceptionally smart, quick, or innovative. It's just that the routes I take are quicker. That isn't a positive thing. Imagine taking a train from thought A to the destination at point E. I'm realising that I regularly miss out all of the stops in between, missing valuable information, thoughts and processes that could make things a whole lot easier. This blog is a promise to try and get to the final destination without misses any stops along the way. It's going to be hard.

I bet I'll lose patience with patience, but we'll see!

(P.S Sam Wade BMFL Lolage...there you go mate)

Wordplay

Ok. I'm fully jumping on the "Wordle" band wagon. I saw it on a few blogs and thought it might be interesting. Well, I'm really pleased with the result - I just hope my life reflects the words I write!

Memory-Making

There are moments in life that change you. There are moments in life that inspire you. There are moments in life that no matter how hard you try, you'll never forget.

Today, I had the privilege of being a part of something incredible. I don't really think explaining it would honour the moment to be perfectly honest with you. However, today I got to witness the making of what will certainly be a very precious memory to me. I got to see something that I have dreamt of seeing since the beginning of Revolution - and what excites me is that it's just the beginning. I have genuinely never been so proud in all my life...which I find strange, as I haven't actually done anything!

I don't have much more to say tonight, as I'm exhausted. I would love to tell you about what happened at that Revolution rehearsal - just ask me in person...if you dare. You probably won't find it as exciting as I do. But I don't mind that, because I know you'll see the repercussions of tonight in years to come. Take my word for it.

Stay tuned for an exceptional, life-changing year...

Tales and Fables of Cables

This week is an important one for me. It's my first week as a fully salaried 'Music Director' at Kerith Community Church. It's incredible to think that two years have already passed since I first joined the staff as a volunteer - time really does fly when you're having fun! My role has some fantastic privileges - I get to play in a band, write songs, travel to some amazing places and meet some phenomenal people, all the while learning from the exceptional leaders that I work with. However, not many people see the mundane trivialities that have to take place in my job from week to week. If I were to figure out some statistics for the last 2 years, it might look a little like this:

131 chord charts

341 trips to the photocopier

844 hours of planning meetings

145 hours setting up rehearsal spaces

6034 cables coiled and boxed up

Ok, I admit. I made those numbers up. I fact, they probably aren't even remotely accurate. You get the idea though. The last detail is by far the most frustrating. If I never had to coil another cable in my life, I would certainly not complain. The musicians and technicians reading this will no doubt identify with the infuriating task of coiling cables perfectly neatly, resting them beautifully where they belong and returning a week later to find them all in a hugely tangled mess that takes an unnecessarily long time to sort. I don't know what I dislike the most - the fact that I have to tidy these cables week in, week out, or the fact that this whole thing is a perfect analogy for my life.

The thing is, every time I think my life is sorted, I'll relax a little bit and before I know what's happened, things become a tangled, knotted mess that steals far more time than I would like. We're not talking damaged cables here - big issues that become dangerous and need to be left for good. We're talking about fixable but frustrating tangles - good intentions with bad outcomes, ill-thought out plans, etc. Whilst not hugely threatening, these issues can certainly give me a bit of a headache.

I recently found myself in a bit of a knotted mess, having not thought things through properly (which isn't anywhere near as much of a rarity as I would like). Nothing serious, but enough for me to have to respond to it. Just like the cables, it can be so tempting just to leave them tangled, or perhaps only uncoil as much of the cable as you need. It can be so tempting to address immediate issues and leave potential issues as far out of the picture as you'd like, but that only causes more damage.

Whilst I strongly dislike these issues, part of me quite likes the stark reminder that I am utterly useless when I run on my own steam. I am so grateful that I have hope in Jesus Christ, as I would be a total mess if I didn't. It'll take time to untangle everything and I have no doubt that by the time I finish, there will be other messes to untangle. However, just like at work, the more cables I untangle, the better I get at it. I'll get there. Eventually.

The Rambler

I have a feeling this will be closer to one of those "dear diary" moments.

You know that hazy sense of semi-reality that hits you when your body wants to tell you that its running out of steam and urging you to quit for the day? I think I'm there. I love it. I'm a firm believer that when you reach this state, that citadel of self-preservation, self-awareness...of 'self' itself crumbles - the result: all the fiction in your personality dissolves, and you're left with a distilled 'you'. I get this feeling most when travelling. It's great! If you ever want to meet me at my most real, meet me on my travels.

I'm going to France in a few minutes, which I feel mixed about. I can't wait to spend some time with my family...the way our timetables fit together just doesn't allow it - but it has been a long summer. A fantastic summer overall, despite the obvious dips, but I'm ready to get started in September now. I miss regularly seeing so many people, regularly doing what I feel I do best. Working purely in an office environment is simply not for me - it's a necessary part of my job, but if it was the only part, I think I'd go mad. I'm rambling.

This holiday is a great chance to refocus. I don't feel like I've been truly living selflessly for God in the fast few weeks. That needs to change. A inspirational man of God reminded me of this passage the other day:

Psalm 37:4 (New International Version)

⁴ Delight yourself in the LORD

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

It's amazing how one verse can cause you to crumble. To use a bit of Christian jargon, I felt a little convicted reading this. The desires of my heart don't seem particularly significan't in comparison to the way God has blessed me in the last two years.

I'm sorry if I've rambled. The opening paragraph was a little bit of a warning. But like I said, here you get me at my most real! Time to go :)

Positioning

Have you ever looked at where you are in relation to other people? Reaallyy? For me, the last month has been like a game of personal hide and seek - I've been missing quite a few aspects of who I am, but it seems like they've got bored of hiding themselves and, like many attention-deprived children, have jumped out with screams and shouts and are already preparing themselves for a different game altogether. I learnt so much in the last month. I'll try and explain:

A month ago today. Ethos resurface. A little rusty to say the least, playing at an event in Reading. The tshirt tan begins, skin is uncomfortably forced to reacquaint itself with sunburn. I was reminded of how passionate I am about the guys in the band - a reinvigorated worshipper, excited about the month ahead.

The following day. Great day at church picnic. Laptop slides from waivering case and headbutts the floor. No life in the laptop. Worst thing ever. Definitely made the following statement: "Ah well, it's only a material possession, it doesn't mean anything ultimately." I wish I'd meant it.

Next few days selfishly mourning the loss of laptop. Spoilt westerner. Should believe what I read in the Bible.

Following Wednesday. Laptop forgotten. Now mourning the loss of a friend. Understood the importance of the casual remark I'd made previously. Learnt the value and fleeting nature of life. Learnt the selfishness involved with my own preoccupation. Some people have to deal with this kind of death on an almost weekly basis, and I'm distraught about a girl I should've treated better.

Prayer meeting, youth meeting, Sunday. Dealt with a lot. Learnt how people align themselves in such unexplainable ways. Life is a minefield. We gather closely together through love, even though that proximity puts us directly in range of an emotional explosion if even one is lost. Tempted to walk from the minefield. To find space and safety. God reminded me that love is worth the risk, as is the potential damage and pain that can be caused. I would rather position myself in the minefield of close friendships than in the safety of solitude.

Albania. Incredible opportunities. Radio interviews, Posters and leaflets with our pictures on, concerts and conference. Worshipping with a new generation in an emerging nation. Learnt that Romans 8:28 isn't just a comfort verse. The team were phenomenal. There was a new maturity, a new focus on the team. The week before was a stark reminder of the importance of salvation. Learnt that Ethos has reached the point of realising potential and members are realising that they are in fact realising it after all. Got that?

Funeral. Best worst time ever. Bittersweet. Desperately heart-wrenching, deeply depressing - yet, at same time, it was the most uplifting of funerals. Amazing turn out, heart pulled back into place and warmed a little by the effort, love and great lengths involved to make the best of an awful day. Learnt that to leave this earth having made a similar impact to Angharad Clague would be a privilege.

Chicago. Eye-opener. Awe-inspiring church building. Exceptional speakers. Blindsided by the level of excellence that Willow Creek operate at. Unshakable feeling in the pit of my stomach as I envision Kerith Community Church and the future that lays before it. Learnt that we are doing brilliantly, but we can still do better. We can always do better. Fantastic host family. Have never been made to feel so at home by a host-family before. Learnt that the ukulele is actually pretty cool! Did not anticipate a series of perfect evenings and an unforgettable Saturday to accompany a life-changing conference. Learnt that moving away, whilst intimidating, would not be so out of the question. Learnt that servant hearts really do transcend cultural subtleties - also learnt that Americans don't say "half-six", "quarter-to-four" etc. What's up with that?!

It's been an incredible month. To summarise, I realised that my position in this world is neither set, stable, or sufficient. There is so much more to do, so much more to see and so much more to learn. In relation to some, I am a big fish - whilst to others, I am too small to be worthy of being called a fish...maybe a 'cell' would be more appropriate. I have learnt the value of friendship both at home and internationally.

I have learnt that being a Christian isn't easy. But it is exciting. The most exciting, stressful and rewarding years of my life have been the last two. Two years and 5 days to be exact. I have realised that whilst pain is unavoidable, so is the unshakable realisation of God's love in my life.

Bring it on.

A Walk To Remember

Today had seemed to be just another Sunday. Church in the morning, lunch at the Cottee's (a fairly regular occurrence) and church in the evening. That was the plan. Granted, there were more than a few tears, as you would expect from a church mourning the loss of a deeply valued member, but nothing more. I'll be honest, I found this morning's meeting extremely difficult. Again, the 'how dare I be this upset about Annie's death? I don't deserve to be...' feeling emerged, which only made things worse - but that was only fleeting. The time at the Cottee's house was (as always) brilliant, but something unusual happened today. I decided to walk home.

Now, now. Hold your shock. Dawid Niemiec had my keys, and I didn't really want to get a lift from anyone. In truth, a walk didn't seem like such a bad idea. Lots to process and all that.

It's around three miles from the Cottee's home to my own, and incredibly scenic. Pictures below:

It was probably the most therapeutic walk home I've ever had. The views were staggering; the weather was phenomenal - that on its own would have been enough to make the journey home a good one. However, it just so happens that in the three miles that connect the two houses, many of my most treasured memories reside.

I remembered jogging up and down this road on a regular basis, until my legs were weak, and my lungs felt like they were giving up on me. I needed to. After all, I was going to play rugby for England, so I needed to be fit. This road remembers that determination. Further on, I remembered one of the best conversations I think I've ever had. Lounging in the shade beneath the trees, I remember discussing what my house would look like, what I would do when I finished university, what my children would be called. This road remembers my hopes and dreams. I remembered one of the first kisses I'd ever experienced as I walked past the hallowed ground; an idyllic footpath hidden from onlookers - that's important when you're fourteen you know. This road remembers the naivety of that teenage romance. Today it simply reminded me that it still did.

Today this road became aware of Annie. It became aware of who she was, how she impacted people and all the things I should've said to her but couldn't quite summon the courage to when the opportunity arose. Today, this road will remember my tears at twenty-one and my conversation with God as I simply asked: "why did you choose this girl at this time?!" In the future, this road will remind me, just as God did today, that the Lord knows the plans he has for me. That my God has plans to give me hope, plans to give me a future. That irrespective of my lack of understanding, good will come from this. In the future, this road will remind me of the excitement I felt today as I put my grief and my questioning aside and looked at the sensational impact that Annie's life has had, as well as the posthumous impact it is still having and will continue to have in the future.

Today this road will remember how I dealt with a lot of things as I walked from one house to another. It will remember how I stopped questioning God; stopped questioning unalterable events and started honouring Annie's memory by worshipping God with a passion and fervour that I've never had before. Today was a walk to remember.

Annie

Last night, we lost a treasured member of our community. Angharad Clague was involved in a tragic car accident and unfortuntely, didn't make it.


For the last 26 hours or so I have felt numb. I don't remember the last time I cried so much, and slept so little. I've never had to cope with a loss this suddent before. I don't really think I am coping in all honesty.


I feel sick. I feel sick because I feel like this, yet was nowhere near as close to her as many of my other friends. I feel sick because I don't feel like I deserve to be crying so much when, in the years I'd known her, I'd taken her for granted so much.


I feel blessed that I got to spend the last year working with, and getting to know her.


I've had the privilege of taking part in a theology training course, known as 'FP'. Every month, for three days, Annie, George Barnett, Dawid Niemiec and I would travel to Wimbledon, meet with other 'FP-ers' and learn more about subjects surrounding our faith. It was fantastic for many reasons, but something I drastically underestimated was the importance of the car journeys with Annie to and from the training base. In particular, I can't shake the memories of our conversations when it was just the two of us travelling to and from Wimbledon. I had such an amazing insight into the Annie I'd never known before.


Annie and I didn't get on particularly well this time last year. Conversations were strained, and I really believed the training was going to be awful. However, the more I spent time with her, the more I began to appreciate her - I saw an amazing change in her with regards to her faith over the last year. I count myself extremely privileged to have been able to work in the same office as her, to see her constantly praying for people on Friday nights and Sundays, and really begin to get to know her.


This is where the feeling sick bit comes in. There is so much I loved about Annie, but I never told her. The thing is, it's easy to moan about idiosyncrasies and the like in a person when, in your eyes at least, they're going to live forever. I feel so much guilt for the things I said - for doubting her a year ago. The only comfort with this is that I did get a chance to tell her on our last journey to training together how immensely impressed I was with the person that she was. But that wasn't enough. She was astonishing.


Tonight we held a prayer meeting at Kerith Community Church to really reflect on her life. I've never seen it so packed out. I'm just overwhelmed by her phenomenal impact on the kids work, the youth groups, the adults. I'm overwhelmed by the impact her death has made on me. It's amazing how much you realise how much you appreciate people when you lose the opportunity to talk to them.


I keep thinking to myself 'I'll tell Annie how much I appreciate her when I see her'. But I'm not going to. I need to process that really. I know that God has a plan for us - for this situation. I can't understand or fathom it, but I believe it. In all honesty, I don't feel like I deserve to write about her, but I need to pay tribute to her. I will miss her more than I could possibly have imagined...which again, just makes me pray for the people that knew her far, far better than I did. My prayers are with you.


And the parents. Anne and Bill. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I don't know Anne, but Bill is one of my favourite people at church. We regularly play in the worship team together, he puts up with all the financial issues I cause him, and visits the creative arts office pretty much everyday for a chat about something or other. He is a fantastic man and I am so devastated that both he and Anne would be subject to such a horrific tragedy. I pray that we would exemplify 'community' in the coming weeks, and that as that community we can help ease the pain as much as possible. The Clagues are such a blessing to us all.

The Big Picture

Every consequence has an action that begins it. Every l e t t e r and every space on this page is the consequence of pressing labelled buttons on a keyboard. My personality is the consequence of the actions of other people - I play guitar because my step-brother left one in my dad’s living room once. I’m pretty good at maths because when my mum was getting to know my step-dad he used to teach it to me...which in turn led to a strong relationship with him. I don’t use abbreviations when I type because when I was 13 or 14 I used them so much that I had to constantly go back and correct my essays. I can picture the business studies classroom - I can even picture the computer I was sat at when I made that decision. Such a small action helped define a small part of who I am.

Looking further back, I am the consequence of two people deciding they wanted to have children together. Their actions (in not too much detail please) resulted in my very existence. Every breath that you take is the result of a series of actions over thousands of years making you into you, at the time and place you’re in.

Ok. I think that’s pretty mind-blowing. There is nothing on this planet that isn’t the consequence of some sort of action, and every action is the result of a previous action, which was the consequence of another action, and so on. Still with me?

So let’s talk about the big picture. Imagine a blank white canvas. With the right materials, you could paint anything you wanted on there. It could look beautiful. But what if you don’t have any paint? What if you had no materials whatsoever? Suddenly, it becomes physically impossible to create anything. Let me ask you a bigger question:

How was the universe created from nothing?

The blank white canvas analogy only works to a certain extent - it’s not like the universe was there, but purely white when it began...the ‘canvas’ of the universe didn’t even exist! Not only can you not paint with no paint, you can’t even think about painting if you don’t have a canvas to paint on! Excuse my rambling, but what I'm getting at is that the universe must surely be a consequence of a previous action. Scientists tell us that the Big Bang is that action. But to what is the Big Bang a consequence of if there was nothing?

Surely it has to be God. As Wayne Grudem summarizes, ‘God has no beginning, end or succession of moments in his own being, and he sees all time equally vividly, yet God sees events in time and acts in time.’ God is the exception - It can only be God who does not follow these rules. Only God who is not restricted by actions or consequences, or by space, time or matter.

Remember the former things, those of long ago;

I am God, and there is no other;

I am God, and there is none like me.

I make known the end from the beginning,

from ancient times, what is still to come. 


I say: My purpose will stand, 


and I will do all that I please.

Isaiah 46:9-10

Surely it follows that it’s more plausible that God did create the universe than it is that God didn’t create the universe? Surely only God can be the artist behind the big picture?

I'll leave you with a quote from a scientist named Francis Colins in his book The Language of God:

We have this very solid conclusion that the universe had an origin, the Big Bang. Fifteen billion years ago, the universe began with an unimaginably bright flash of energy from an infinitesimally small point. That implies that before that, there was nothing. I can't imagine how nature, in this case the universe, could have created itself. And the very fact that the universe had a beginning implies that someone was able to begin it. And it seems to me that had to be outside of nature.

I know what I believe!

Poland, People and Photoshoots

Last week I had the privilege of travelling to Poland with Ben Davies. Ben was the Senior Pastor at Kerith Community Church for 43 years before he handed it over to Simon in 2007 (I think it was 2008 - before I was a part of the church anyway!). Being 49 years my senior, it was fascinating to hear the seemingly endless stream of stories that Ben had for almost every situation...all I can say is that I just hope that I have as many stories to tell when I'm 70! It was also great to see him in 'leadership' mode with some of the fantastic people from the church in Poland, got lots of notes!

Definite highlights include Ben holding a machine gun and having lunch with Dawid's family. For those of you that don't know Dawid, he's the tall Polish legend that has been working at Kerith with us for the last year!

I was also struck by the sense of global community that I found. The more I travel (particularly in a Christian context), the more I'm amazed by the love that people have for each other. Although at most points we required a translator to communicate with each other, people were genuinely interested in looking after you, talking to you and hearing what you had to say. I hope I get to experience that a lot more in the future.

It also needs to be said that I have the most awesome job! How many jobs combine writing, arranging, teaching and playing music, working with people from between the ages of 8 and 60, songwriting with 11-16 year olds one minute to a photo shoot the next?! Bring on Albania - less than a month to go!

UPDATE

So at the start of my blog, I listed some of the places I wanted to be. I thought it was time for an update.

Kerith Worship Academy - we're weeks away from finishing the trial run of the Kerith Worship Academy guitar course; and it has been an exceptional success! I can say that happily because I have seen the results of running this course. There are some fantastic young musicians now integrated into the Revolution team; youngters that I think will play a pivotal role in the future of the worship team. Exciting stuff! All the promotional material is finished now and being processed. The job now is to get enrolled in the course and good to go! Can't wait to start the drums, keyboard and vocal courses in September. Beginning work on the level two guitar course...very very excited indeed!

Revolution - After months of planning, we spent some time recruiting new members to the Revolution team. There are now just under 30 members in Revolution, and we had our first dual band rehearsal last week. Well on the way to where we want to be! The structure of the rehearsal has changed significantly, and it seems to be having a really positive impact on the team as a whole. I'm looking forward to seeing where we are in another few months!

Ethos - The preparation has begun for the Albania tour in July, It's going to be fantastic! The team that is going is incredible; and everyone has something good to offer. We are so far ahead of where we are in terms of planning compared to last year, I have a really good feeling about what is going to do when we're away!

Resound - It needs to be said that we have the best team that you could ask for. We've got some huge changes coming over the next few months, as well as looking forward to taking things to another level at the conferences this year! I've spent the last two weeks working on some behind the scenes stuff, and I'm really pleased with the results! There is a fantastic dynamic both in and out of the office, and we're all really excited about seeing where we'll be in another year or so!

My biggest problem is that I'm always looking a year ahead. Don't get me wrong, I'm really proud of where we are now, but I just can't resist thinking about where we could be in a year's time! Can't wait!

Change

Change is the most exciting, inspiring and intimidating aspect of progression. It’s both inevitable and unavoidable. The worship teams at Kerith Community Church have seen an incredible amount of change over the last few years, and frankly I hope it continues in the same vein.

The formation of Revolution and the Kerith Worship Academy, the amalgamation of Ethos and the adult worship team (now called ‘Resound’), the rehearsal times, rehearsal structures, removal of music stands from the platform, the style of music and most recently, the formation of set bands for Sundays have all signalled large steps forward in the way we are able to serve the community at Kerith, which is what our team is all about. In order to consistently encourage people who don’t know God to engage with Him, we need to constantly change the way we ‘do’ church. Our style of worship needs to be stylistically relevant to those that aren’t interested in his message. The Pop music genre (short for popular music) got its title for a reason - it’s what the majority of people listen to. It’s familiar to the ‘unchurched’ and why worship music today is swayed more by today’s music than the hymns of yesteryear.

1 Thessalonians 5:21 tells us to “Test everything. Hold on to the good.” Paul reminds us not to undertake change lightly. It needs to be thought through, prayed about and planned. However, that doesn’t mean we need to be intimidated by change. In order to truly reach our potential and achieve all the things that God has called us to do, we need to stride forward with well planned steps - we are as much at risk from change without thought as we are from thought without change. But most importantly, we need to see it as an exciting opportunity to do something phenomenal. If we are to be a part of a worship team that continuously serves it’s congregation and changes lives, we need to be willing to regularly change the way we do things, and challenge the norms in our community.

Norman Vincent Peale said “change your thoughts and you change the your world.” I desperately want to be a part of something world-changing. Before I start changing the world, I need to start changing the way I think!

Our Finest Hour

This morning, before leaving for work I watched a television program called “Blitz Street.” The idea is simple – to show us what it would have been like to have experienced, first-hand, Germany’s attacks on London seventy years ago this year.

I recorded the episode simply because I was interested in seeing a house blown up. World War II isn’t something I’ve been particularly interested in up to now; I certainly wasn’t prepared for what I saw. I was shocked to see the devastation caused by one of the smaller bombs dropped by the Germans – the SC-50 (below). On its own, it destroyed the side wall of the purpose built house…the Germans dropped thousands of these each night. The larger bombs were sometimes more than ten times the size of the SC-50.

However, what really got to me were the stories of the people who were forced to endure it. Death and destruction on an unimaginable scale left the heart of England in tatters. London was in pieces, but not broken.

If we can stand up to him [Hitler], all Europe may be liberated, and the life of the world may move forward into broad and sunlit uplands ... Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duty, and so bear ourselves that if the British Empire and Commonwealth lasts for a thousand years, men will still say, ‘This was their finest hour.’

This quote from one of Winston Churchill’s speeches is so inspiring. My generation have the unique privilege of being young enough to have avoided the direct consequences of World War II and the blitz, but old enough to have grandparents and sometimes parents that, if not involved in the war effort, experienced the fallout from it. It’s a privilege because I can read Churchill’s speeches fully aware of the outcome of that vicious war. I know that for Britain, there is no doubt that it was our country’s finest hour.

To have carried on, seeing lives obliterated, buildings annihilated and morale almost shattered shows a spirit that I want to have in my life. If that’s what it meant to be British then, I want that to be what it means to be British now. To have a spirit that, despite fear, suffering and horrendous odds against success. I want to fight for the lives we’ve been given and risk everything for a triumphant victory over evil. For the British Empire in 1940, the defence of our nation was an imperative for the liberation of others from evil. But we’re a global community now – how does the past influence the here-and-now?

In our global neighbourhood, many of our neighbours are being ruthlessly slaughtered; be it lack of sanitation, HIV and AIDs or starvation. Militia groups are ruling over their respective regions with selfishness and greed. Many areas are suffering from the horrific consequences of natural disasters. If we saw such devastation on our doorstep, we’d do something about it.

But it is on our doorstep.

Take Churchill’s speech, and alter a few words:

“if we can stand up to starvation, suffering, pain, unnecessary death, all the world may be liberated, and the life of the world may move forward into broad and sunlit uplands ... Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duty, and so bear ourselves that if the nation lasts for a thousand years, men will still say, ‘This was their finest hour.’

That’s the world I want to live in. In memory of the people who died for my freedom in the early 1940s, and because Jesus sacrificed far more so that we would love God and love our neighbours - the people in all the corners of the earth.

This will be my finest hour. I want to make sure of it. I hope it’ll be yours as well.

This Is Impossible.

I've just got home from watching Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland at the cinema. I was absolutely blown away - I loved everything from the special effects, to the portrayal of the characters, to Danny Elfman's score for it (he's one of my favourite film composers so I was a bit biased!), but what really surprised me was how inspired I felt as I left.

The quote that got me was "This is impossible."..."Only if you believe it is."

To be honest, whilst the rest of the film was fantastic, I was a little fixated on this idea towards the end. It makes me think about my own life; suddenly all the possibilities in my future metamorphose into inevitabilities...purely because I believe with all I have that I will accomplish them. I'm no longer a child reaching in vain for an object that I will never reach, but a giant looking down - where the only challenge is grabbing it before it disappears.

I didn't have to look in the Bible for long to find that actually, this is what God intended for us all along. In Luke 1:37 an angel says to Mary "For nothing is impossible with God." In Luke 18:27 Jesus says "What is impossible with men is possible with God." Matthew 17:20: "He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

And if you still don't believe that Jesus wanted the impossible for us, take a look at this:

Matthew 19:26

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

Mark 10:27

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."

Both Matthew and Mark recorded the same message in their gospels; this is clearly something that Jesus wanted to emphasise!

So if Alice in Wonderland tells me that "nothing is possible if I believe" then I've stumbled onto an unbelievable conclusion. The Bible actually says the same thing!

On the way home, I came up with a phrase that summed up my thoughts:

"A life's only limitation is it's owner's imagination."

However, in light of this, I suppose it needs to be changed:

"With God, a life's only limitation is it's Saviour's imagination."

Communicational Worship

Just over a week ago Revolution lead spectacularly in front of around 250 people at LIFE, our weekly youth event. In light of the fact that at 14 (the age of the vast majority of Revolution), I was battling through fairly atrocious cover songs, struggling to find any semblance of songwriting ability and severely lacking in any kind of stage presence, I'm simply in awe of these guys. They played worship songs to a standard that would be considered extremely high in many churches today, and wouldn't look out of place on a Sunday at Kerith, but it was far more than that. It was seeing other members of Revolution at the front supporting their friends, and seeing each member of the band really meaning the words they were singing - really understanding what it means to worship. Feeling like a proud parent as I left the Kerith Centre, I couldn't help but switch to planning mode. And that got me thinking.

One of my 'go-to' passages in the Bible for worship is John 4:23 - "Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshiper will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks." I'm often drawn to the 'in spirit and truth' part; I want to be a worshiper who offers everything to God. Someone who gives all that I am to worship him. But whilst this is a particularly important part of the passage, I have begun to realise that I've let another part of that go undetected - 'they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.' When we truly worship God, he connects with us. He communicates with us. For me personally, many of the times I connect with God the most is during a particularly powerful time of worship where we are led completely by the Spirit of God. This is 'communicational worship'. And I believe there are 3 different levels of communicational worship in the 21st century church today:

Level 1 - Impersonal worship

I believe the first aim for a worship team should be to be able to play songs from start to finish competently enough that it enables a congregation to engage in genuine worship. However, this should only be a starting block. I liken this to writing a letter - you can say (and mean) all the right things and plan meticulously, but it will only reveal a moderate proportion of your true personality. If you can play a song from start to finish but can't respond to a prompting from the Holy Spirit, you might see God move, but will be limited in worship. I find letters lack originality unless you really know who you're communicating with, and the same can be said of a worship team who puts on a worship show rather than lead people in worship. However, it is important to note that if God wants to move, he will, irrespective of this!

Level 2 - Interactive Worship

The word 'impersonal' has many negative connotations associated with it, but I'm keen to highlight the restrictive nature of not being able to respond to the Holy Spirit. I need to also stress that in order to gain the most from an interactive worship of God, there needs to be a firm grasp of the impersonal. Words on their own have limited meaning, but using them in particular circumstances can evoke powerful emotional responses. It is like that with a song; if you know a song well musically (or impersonally), it can be structurally altered at points in response to what God is doing in a congregation for optimum impact and connection with the Holy Spirit - an interactive time of worship. Suddenly, worship can have a far greater impact. For me, this is like instant messaging and the social networking phenomenon. You learn far more about someone than you would had they written you a letter, but it still doesn't convey their full personality.

Level 3 - Personal Worship

Worship is most powerful when it is a truly personal experience. You learn most about the people you love (and even the ones you don't!) in face to face conversations. We all have unique identities and particular attributes that remain hidden in letters, and on the web. I believe that we can only really experience personal worship with God when there is a unique personality to a church or worship team. There is something special in singing a song that was born out of a preach by your own pastor or by experiences that the church has shared. When you worship God collectively as a community with a unique identity, responding to the Holy Spirit with lyrically and musically strong songs, you begin to enter a personal worship time with God.

All these things assume that the worship team has a true heart for worship, but I really believe that this is where we need to be heading as worship teams around the world. I'm in no way undermining the fantastic songwriters of today; I can only dream of writing songs that speak to people as much as theirs do. I am simply passionate about seeing people become followers of Jesus...and I think that will happen when we find a voice of worship for this generation - a personal, intimate voice of worship will be the change in this world.

Writer's Block.

Urgh.

Songwriting in a church context is definitely rewarding. The feeling of hearing our church singing a song that I've either written, or had a hand in writing is one of the most rewarding feelings I've ever known - In fact, the point that I was probably most close to God in all of 2009 was at a conference we led in Albania, singing a song I helped write called "Jesus Reigns". It was almost as if God had rewarded the hours of pouring over and reworking that song by transcending both language barriers and cultural differences, as everyone in the room worshipped passionately in the knowledge of who God is. I am so grateful that people could worship to that song with such exuberance! That's what it's all about.

Songwriting in a church context, however, is definitely not easy. Looking at some of the lyrics I take most comfort from in times of worship, you'd think it would be an easy thing to do:

"Thank you,

Thank you for the cross,

For the cross"

"You are my strength,

Strength like no other,

Strength like no other,

Reaches to me"

"Jesus, be glorified in the earth,

Be glorified in the earth,

Jesus your name be glorified"

It amazes how such simplicity can be so profound. Yet it's so difficult to achieve. Musicians don't 'do' simple. It's almost as if we're programmed to try and make things as difficult as possible and consequently, we have to train ourselves to keep things simple. I remember my old music teacher always saying "KISS - Keep It Simple, Stupid" and it always stuck with me; only I never fully understood how difficult that really is.

Today, my head and my heart aren't matching up. I've spent the last week researching pick-up replacements for my new Fender Strat, experimenting with pedal board set-ups and amp settings to get the best settings for our ministry times - do I harmonize an octave up with the whammy pedal or pitch shift the whole thing? Do I sacrifice the amazing clean tones of my single coils for humbuckers to get a better distorted sound? Dotted eighth note delay or crotchets? Digital or analogue?

This is all stuff I need to work through, but is it any wonder I've got writer's block? I'm putting my focus in the wrong place. I'm not writing songs about material possessions, I'm writing songs about the Creator of the universe. It really isn't a complicated truth. I don't seem to be coming up with any ideas, but maybe if I clear my head and focus on "the one thing" (in the words of Joel Houston), I can smash through this brick wall complete with a simple, yet catchy, lyrically interesting but theologically accurate, musically inspired yet easy to play worship song at the end of it. After all, I can manage simple. After all, it took three of us to write the follow lyrics:

"Jesus reigns, Jesus reigns,

Jesus reigns forever"

Yep. Can definitely manage simple...