Kinda Like Britney Spears...Only With Purpose

I wouldn't class myself as image-obsessed. I like to think that I really don't care about the way I look; whether that's hair styles, clothes or anything else. For the past year or two, I've found myself living with the following phrase:

Achievements over Appearance

The thing is, in today's distinctly fashion-focussed culture, it has been difficult for me to shake the impression that people are more interested in the way they appear to do things rather than the things they are actually doing. Take, for example, the celebrities who are famous for being, rather than doing - Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, anyone that has EVER appeared on Big Brother and a whole host of other names that populate the far too familiar list of famous-for-nothing stars. As I witnessed their success from the murky shadows of the so-called-star light cast out from television sets and computer screens, I repeatedly promised myself to honour achievements over appearance.

With that said, I'm coming to the rapid conclusion that I really haven't done that well. Pride is the barricade blocking me from being who God is calling me; calling us to be - and dealing with that hasn't quite been as simple as I thought. Take these examples...I wonder if you've experienced these too:

Consequence: Tired, Lazy and inefficient.

Reason: Skipping breakfast to ensure hair was blow-dried..."I don't care what my hair looks like (providing it's not TOO curly)"

Consequence: Late, flustered.

Reason: Couldn't find the Tshirt I wanted..."Can't go to work in this top! It's brown!"

Consequence: Stressed, irritated

Reason: Potential of not playing lead electric guitar...(Honestly, this is what I thought)"really, but then people won't compliment me about my playing"

Cringe. Like I said at the beginning, I like to think that I really don't care about the way I look. I really do. Maybe not as much as others, but definitely more than I should.

Over the last few weeks, God has been really focussing on sorting my pride. Something in me changed recently, which can only be a positive thing. The pivotal moment for me was when I was looking at myself in the mirror whilst brushing my teeth. I hate my hair. For a moment, I considered cutting it all off...but thought better of it - I'd look stupid. Maybe if someone paid me...

BOOM.

Wait.

I felt ashamed.

I was considering taking money from people to change my appearance - yet at the same time, I was willing to let people suffer in countries far away from here simply because they can't afford to fulfil their basic needs. I wanted to profit from changing the way I look simply because I could. Why am I more concerned about my appearance than people who are in need?

That was just over a week ago. I've since raised just over £1000 for Kerith Community Church's 'Project 125' - an attempt to raise £125,000 in order to provide safety for vulnerable students in the Serenje district in Zambia. How? By shaving my head.

I know, I know. It's kinda like Britney Spears...only with purpose. This is a big deal for me - I've never had a shaved head...ever! I've received over 40 sponsors, and I'm truly grateful for their donations - but I can't help but feel uncomfortable that it was much easier for me to raise £1000 to alter my appearance than it was to ask outright for money for Project 125.

Why is that?

Today's entry is a pledge that I won't let my pride get in the way of trying to help people. I care more about achieving a worthy objective than appearing my best. I'm not saying that you shouldn't care about how you look. However, I AM saying that if looking stupid for 3 months while my hair grows back can pay a little bit towards changing people's lives, BRING IT ON!

Here is a confession...

I'm not who I want to be.

I'm working on it.

...slowly.

Unfortunately, I think I'm exactly where God wants me to be...

...Learning that when I hope to go it alone, I'm hopeless.

However...

When my hope is found in my Creator,

I know I'll get there.

I just wish the journey was a less painful one.

Heart Stirred Up

I refuse to be part of a generation whose week is a mundane pre-cursor to a weekend of wasteful, self-centred indulgence. Instead, the generation that I'm a part of is a generation whose selfish desires are eclipsed by selfless faith.

I refuse to be part of a generation where hope and assurance is found in fame, fortune and artificial appearances. Instead, my hope is found in Jesus Christ, the Saviour who died for love - whose life, whose love, and whose light will shine from me and destroy the darkness that surrounds my world.

I refuse to be part of a generation who stand idly by when there are thousands dying every day who needn't be; millions suffering every day who shouldn't be. I am part of a generation who will honour the name of Jesus with love and justice - not just when all eyes are on me, but when my actions are hidden from all prospect of recognition on this earth.

¹⁰ and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry

and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,

then your light will rise in the darkness,

and your night will become like the noonday.

Isaiah 58:10

¹⁴"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.¹⁶In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Matthew 5:14-16

It seems like 'the light' is everywhere, but it's still warming up. I'm looking forward to a day where that light; our light shines so brightly from us that we can't help but rescue the oppressed, the downtrodden, the broken, the tired. I'm ready for a life dedicated to something that outlasts it.

Our call is to love God AND love people. It isn't an either / or option. How can we really worship God with all of our heart mind and strength if in the very same moment we're neglecting the very people he gave his only Son for?!

"We will be your hands, we will be your feet, we will run this race for the least of these. In the darkest place, we will be your light."

Joel Houston - "Solution"

"Be the change you want to see in the world"

Ghandi

Patience

I think I've always known this, but the last few weeks have highlighted it for me. I'm incredibly impatient.

I know, I know, some of you won't be at all surprised to hear me say that - in fact, the only thing that will surprise you is how long that it's taken to come to this realisation in the first place. It feels an awful lot like the world inside my head moves a thousand times faster than the world outside of it. It's rubbish. I tend to come to decisions in the 'inside' world looonngg before the 'outside' world does.

The reality is that everything moves at the same speed. I'm certainly not exceptionally smart, quick, or innovative. It's just that the routes I take are quicker. That isn't a positive thing. Imagine taking a train from thought A to the destination at point E. I'm realising that I regularly miss out all of the stops in between, missing valuable information, thoughts and processes that could make things a whole lot easier. This blog is a promise to try and get to the final destination without misses any stops along the way. It's going to be hard.

I bet I'll lose patience with patience, but we'll see!

(P.S Sam Wade BMFL Lolage...there you go mate)

Wordplay

Ok. I'm fully jumping on the "Wordle" band wagon. I saw it on a few blogs and thought it might be interesting. Well, I'm really pleased with the result - I just hope my life reflects the words I write!

Memory-Making

There are moments in life that change you. There are moments in life that inspire you. There are moments in life that no matter how hard you try, you'll never forget.

Today, I had the privilege of being a part of something incredible. I don't really think explaining it would honour the moment to be perfectly honest with you. However, today I got to witness the making of what will certainly be a very precious memory to me. I got to see something that I have dreamt of seeing since the beginning of Revolution - and what excites me is that it's just the beginning. I have genuinely never been so proud in all my life...which I find strange, as I haven't actually done anything!

I don't have much more to say tonight, as I'm exhausted. I would love to tell you about what happened at that Revolution rehearsal - just ask me in person...if you dare. You probably won't find it as exciting as I do. But I don't mind that, because I know you'll see the repercussions of tonight in years to come. Take my word for it.

Stay tuned for an exceptional, life-changing year...

Tales and Fables of Cables

This week is an important one for me. It's my first week as a fully salaried 'Music Director' at Kerith Community Church. It's incredible to think that two years have already passed since I first joined the staff as a volunteer - time really does fly when you're having fun! My role has some fantastic privileges - I get to play in a band, write songs, travel to some amazing places and meet some phenomenal people, all the while learning from the exceptional leaders that I work with. However, not many people see the mundane trivialities that have to take place in my job from week to week. If I were to figure out some statistics for the last 2 years, it might look a little like this:

131 chord charts

341 trips to the photocopier

844 hours of planning meetings

145 hours setting up rehearsal spaces

6034 cables coiled and boxed up

Ok, I admit. I made those numbers up. I fact, they probably aren't even remotely accurate. You get the idea though. The last detail is by far the most frustrating. If I never had to coil another cable in my life, I would certainly not complain. The musicians and technicians reading this will no doubt identify with the infuriating task of coiling cables perfectly neatly, resting them beautifully where they belong and returning a week later to find them all in a hugely tangled mess that takes an unnecessarily long time to sort. I don't know what I dislike the most - the fact that I have to tidy these cables week in, week out, or the fact that this whole thing is a perfect analogy for my life.

The thing is, every time I think my life is sorted, I'll relax a little bit and before I know what's happened, things become a tangled, knotted mess that steals far more time than I would like. We're not talking damaged cables here - big issues that become dangerous and need to be left for good. We're talking about fixable but frustrating tangles - good intentions with bad outcomes, ill-thought out plans, etc. Whilst not hugely threatening, these issues can certainly give me a bit of a headache.

I recently found myself in a bit of a knotted mess, having not thought things through properly (which isn't anywhere near as much of a rarity as I would like). Nothing serious, but enough for me to have to respond to it. Just like the cables, it can be so tempting just to leave them tangled, or perhaps only uncoil as much of the cable as you need. It can be so tempting to address immediate issues and leave potential issues as far out of the picture as you'd like, but that only causes more damage.

Whilst I strongly dislike these issues, part of me quite likes the stark reminder that I am utterly useless when I run on my own steam. I am so grateful that I have hope in Jesus Christ, as I would be a total mess if I didn't. It'll take time to untangle everything and I have no doubt that by the time I finish, there will be other messes to untangle. However, just like at work, the more cables I untangle, the better I get at it. I'll get there. Eventually.